{"id":1759,"date":"2010-09-27T07:38:01","date_gmt":"2010-09-27T07:38:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/?p=1759"},"modified":"2010-09-27T07:38:01","modified_gmt":"2010-09-27T07:38:01","slug":"monday-poem-the-pig-by-roald-dahl","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/2010\/09\/27\/monday-poem-the-pig-by-roald-dahl\/","title":{"rendered":"Monday poem | The Pig, by Roald Dahl"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roalddahl_pigpoem.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1760\" title=\"RoaldDahl_pigpoem\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roalddahl_pigpoem.jpg?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"210\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roalddahl_pigpoem.jpg 500w, http:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/roalddahl_pigpoem-300x210.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>I am waist deep in writing a book at the moment, so finding the time to blog new recipes and the like may prove difficult. In the meantime, here is an ode to the pig to make you smile on a Monday morning.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">In England once there lived a big<br \/>\nA wonderfully clever pig.<br \/>\nTo everybody it was plain<br \/>\nThat Piggy had a massive brain.<!--more--><br \/>\nHe worked out sums inside his head,<br \/>\nThere was no book he hadn&#8217;t read.<br \/>\nHe knew what made an airplane fly,<br \/>\nHe knew how engines worked and why.<br \/>\nHe knew all this, but in the end<br \/>\nOne question drove him round the bend:<br \/>\nHe simply couldn&#8217;t puzzle out<br \/>\nWhat LIFE was really all about.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\">What was the reason for his birth?<br \/>\nWhy was he placed upon this earth?<br \/>\nHis giant brain went round and round.<br \/>\nAlas, no answer could be found.<br \/>\nTill suddenly one wondrous night.<br \/>\nAll in a flash he saw the light.<br \/>\nHe jumped up like a ballet dancer<br \/>\nAnd yelled, \u201cBy gum, I\u2019ve got the answer!\u201d<br \/>\n\u201cThey want my bacon slice by slice<br \/>\n\u201cTo sell at a tremendous price!<br \/>\n\u201cThey want my tender juicy chops<br \/>\n\u201cTo put in all the butcher\u2019s shops!<br \/>\n\u201cThey want my pork to make a roast<br \/>\n\u201cAnd that\u2019s the part\u2019ll cost the most!<br \/>\n\u201cThey want my sausages in strings!<br \/>\n\u201cThey even want my chitterlings!<br \/>\n\u201cThe butcher\u2019s shop! The carving knife!<br \/>\n\u201cThat is the reason for my life!\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:right;\">Such thoughts as these are not designed<br \/>\nTo give a pig great peace of mind.<br \/>\nNext morning, in comes Farmer Bland,<br \/>\nA pail of pigswill in his hand,<br \/>\nAnd piggy with a mighty roar,<br \/>\nBashes the farmer to the floor\u2026<br \/>\nNow comes the rather grizzly bit<br \/>\nSo let\u2019s not make too much of it,<br \/>\nExcept that you must understand<br \/>\nThat Piggy did eat Farmer Bland,<br \/>\nHe ate him up from head to toe,<br \/>\nChewing the pieces nice and slow.<br \/>\nIt took an hour to reach the feet,<br \/>\nBecause there was so much to eat,<br \/>\nAnd when he finished, Pig, of course,<br \/>\nFelt absolutely no remorse.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\">Slowly he scratched his brainy head<br \/>\nAnd with a little smile he said,<br \/>\n\u201cI had a fairly powerful hunch<br \/>\n\u201cThat he might have me for his lunch.<br \/>\n\u201cAnd so, because I feared the worst,<br \/>\n\u201cI thought I\u2019d better eat him first.\u201d<\/p>\n<div id=\"geo-post-1759\" class=\"geo geo-post\" style=\"display: none\"><span class=\"latitude\">0<\/span><span class=\"longitude\">0<\/span><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am waist deep in writing a book at the moment, so finding the time to blog new recipes and the like may prove difficult. In the meantime, here is an ode to the pig to make you smile on a Monday morning. In England once there lived a big A wonderfully clever pig. To [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[238,671,790],"class_list":["post-1759","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ramblings","tag-dirty-beasts","tag-roald-dahl","tag-the-pig"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1zdji-sn","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1759","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1759"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1759\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1759"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1759"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jamesramsden.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1759"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}