The Fukan Diet begins…

It appears I may be in the process of committing professional suicide. I’m starting the Dukan diet today.

There are undoubtedly, more enjoyable ways to lose weight. I have long been a staunch believer in the ‘eat less, exercise more’ method. I’m quite good at the second part. I run a bit. Last year I ran a lot. 26 miles in one go back in April. But then summer comes and summer is the time for sitting outside eating beer and drinking chips. Then of course autumn arrives and it’s time for roots and pies. And more beer. Then suddenly it’s Christmas and you’re skulling more grog than ever while you keep a dustpan-sized shovel close to hand as a means of tipping as much scran down your gullet as is humanly, and humanely, possible. It is not long before you are as fat as a French goose.

You see, the problem is that food, like Super Hans’ crack, is just so moreish. I for one simply don’t have the temperament to eat a little less bread before dinner, drink one vodka and slimline tonic, and have the steamed sea bass with a glass of white wine. I want a negroni, four baskets of bread, the pork terrine, the…actually just bring the lot.

So it’s time to go hardcore. For the next five days I will eat nothing but lean protein and a spoonful of the emetically faecal oat bran. After that there’s a period of you’ve probably stopped reading so I won’t bother to explain. Diets are boring. I shall do my best to make this entertaining. If it’s not then I won’t bother writing.

Toodles!

11 thoughts on “The Fukan Diet begins…

  1. Good Luck…..My wife is threatening full implementation of the Dukan so any insights will be gratefully received….she tried it a while ago but came home one night starving so made herself some mince dish, managed not to cook it through properly and gave herself food poisoning – which was also effective for weight loss, though not necessarily recommended…

  2. Indeed, Sophie Mackenzie has posted some Dukan recipes – but the link takes you to her latest blog which is … how to make chocolate truffles. Don’t be put off, James. I’d love to know how it goes. Most of my attempts to lose weight quickly morph into eat more, exercise less …

  3. sounds delicious!… why exactly are you doing this…? I think you’re damn fine just the way you are… and that’s from one hot and chunky man to another x

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